Cravings, Conflict and the Check Engine Light

I have found this sermon by C. J. Mahaney helpful in thinking about how to do deal with relational conflict.

It is called “Cravings and Conflict" and is taken from James 4:1-2.

I listened to the sermon a while back on a trip that our family took out of town (after everyone else had fallen asleep in the car). I saw a link to the transcript of the sermon posted on a blog today and was reminded how important the truth of James 4 is.

Here is a highlight from the sermon:

“Cravings underlie conflicts” is an excellent summation of the wisdom found in James 4. Why do we fight? Because we don’t get what we want. It’s that simple. Wherever there’s a conflict—whether it’s between two people or two countries—there’s a sinful craving that hasn’t been satisfied yet. There’s no deeper reason.

Take James 4 with you into your next conflict, and you will be able to identify the source of the problem. Ask yourself, “What do I want that I am not getting right now?” The answer will help you recognize the specific sinful craving that is fueling your quarrels and fights.

Despite the unflattering nature of this discovery, we can be grateful for the clarity and specificity of God’s Word. In his kindness, he has provided us with precise and practical wisdom for understanding our hearts in the midst of relational conflict.

By contrast, we often live in a world of unhelpful generalities. For example, you’re driving along and a light appears on the dashboard: “Check Engine.” That’s all it says. What are you supposed to make of that? The first time it happened to me, I dutifully complied. I pulled over, opened the hood, and stood in front of the engine, thinking, Wow, there’s a lot of stuff in here. But there were no blinking lights, no tiny flags waving, nothing at all to tell me what exactly I should be checking. Within moments I had determined beyond any doubt that the level of the windshield wiper fluid was just fine. Having exhausted my checking abilities, I got back in the car and continued on my way, clinging to the vague hope that such checking had been sufficient........

.........I am so glad that when it comes to relational conflict, God doesn’t provide mere generalities. He gives us so much more information than, “Sin has occurred” and “It’s worse than you think.” Now that is accurate and even quite valuable, but it doesn’t suggest a solution any more than does “Check Engine” or “Error has occurred.” No, God provided James 4:1-2 so that we can identify and confess our specific cravings, receive forgiveness, and begin to weaken our cravings and cultivate righteousness.

You can read the entire sermon here.

You can download and listen to the sermon here.

Mark